Sardar sms messages

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Sardar at an Art Gallery:
I suppose this horrible looking thing is
What you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
To his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, “DELIVERED”.

Teacher told all students
In a class to write an essay
On a cricket match;
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Sardar Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
‘baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
“WIFE” & “MOTHER”
SARDAR: Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”
& After Marriage, We Sleep With Our “WIFE”

Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that’s not a crime,
Anyway how early were u shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop…..:p

Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA

Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
“Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”:D

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
“Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”
After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,”Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley”

Lawyer to sardar:geeta pe hath rakho
Sardar:Kamal hai, Seeta pe hath rakha
to baat court tak pohanch gaye,
ab bol raha he geeta pe hath rakho:p

Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
Seeing this he said �India is developing fast,
Sees there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
This bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

1st ever-intelligent sardar.
Teacher: what do u call a person
Who cannot hear anything?
sardar: u can call him anything,
Because he cannot hear anything:-)

A sardar goes to a restaurant
And his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?
Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
How did you know where I was?

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
And puts his finger
On the last of menu: Bring this.
Waiter: Oh! You can’t get it
Because he is the owner of restaurant

A sardarji’s boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old

NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
After BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING.
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I’m not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
Give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?
Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
Sardar:3 months.
Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months
Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.
Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them

Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

Sardar selected a short girl to marry.
Why?
Because guru ji told him
Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai …:-P

Tring Tring Tring.
Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.

Teacher to Sardar: What is Number “Seven” , Even or Odd
Sardar: Even
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Sardar:Remove the ‘S’!!

Sardar made a call to the airport.
Asked,”How long is the journey from Punjab to America?”
Receiptionist: “One second sir….”.
Sardar: Ok, thank you..!!!

A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
Or apni wife se bola
Jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana

Sardar said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
When he checked, Xray found fracture in “Ungli”

Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
“50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys”
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
“50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys”
The Sardars Celebrated.
Taxi driver to sardar:-
Sardar ji petrol khatam ho gaya ha gaddi agay nahi ja rahi
sardar: Koi gal nahi gaddi piche lelo

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..

Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.
Go & sit back. I will drive auto…:D

Q:- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A:- They think their picture is being taken.

Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below
a tube light with a open mouth?
A:Because his doctor advised him
“Today’s dinner should be light”

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
Still he was in jail…….why?
Coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked:
How will you divide, you have 3 children?
Sardar replied:
Ok! We will apply next year.

A sardar went to Pizza Hut.
There he ordered a Pizza.
The Waiter asked him:
Sir shell I cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.
Sardar replied:
O 4 hi le aa yaar,
8 to nahin khaye jayein gay

Teacher: what is the scientific formula for water?
Sardar: h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.
Teacher: nonsense! how did you derive that?
Sardar: auntie, it is H to O (h2o)!

Sardar got job in a telenor call centre.
Customer: telelenor sim blocked what to do?
Sardar: dont take tension remove telenor &
put warid sim.
Thank you for calling ufone.

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :
Is that a sun or moon?
Other Sardar replies :
Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..

Sardarji was asked,
What is a enjoyable joke?
Reply came
Any joke, which is eighteen years old

In a party a lady wanted
To go to toilet so
She inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

Question: Why did 18 Sardars
Go to a movie?
Answer: Because below 18
Was not allowed.

DOES U know why a sardar ji kept
The door open while taking a bath
Because he was scared that someone
Might see through the “KEY HOLE”.

Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1:Look so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case hai.
Sardar2: Aaho,
Truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760

Sardar’s Leave application
Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
In the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.

Interviewer asked sardarji:
Which are the 2 latest versions of java?
Sardarji: Marjava & Mitjava

A sardarji went to a
STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
Slapped the operator twice.
Guess why?
Coz there it was written
“Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain”

Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
One is green and one is blue with red spots!
Sardar ji: Yes it’s really strange.
I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
Guess why?
Because somebody had told him that
it is wrong to sleep with married women.

Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun
To muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

Sardarji opens his lunch box
In the middle of the road….why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going
To or coming back from the office

Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying….
When a person asked what he was doing….
He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!

A Teacher lecturing on population –
In India after Every 10 sec a
Woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up-
We must find & stop her!.

Sardar-
Why r all these people running?
Man- this is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup,
Why r others running?

How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ?
Sardarji thinks N thinks hard
& Comes to a conclusion:
I’ll drink poison n let lion eat me.
How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from
The book when the teacher erases the board.

Sardar’s wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
Who died peacefully in his sleep
Not screaming
Like all the passengers in the
Car he was driving..

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
“Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.”

Sardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
it’s already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go.

Teacher: “I killed a person”
Convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is “u will go to jail”.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
When conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
And took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.

Sardar proposed a girl
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I’ll marry u next year.

Two Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,
“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”
Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”.

Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor

Sardar was busy removing
A wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
You removing a wheel from your auto
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked “what you did till evening?”
Sardar :”Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright”

Interviewee;What is your date of birth?
Sardar;nov 28.
Interviewer;which year?
Sardar;abey ullu everyyear.

A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Sardar: B.Com final year