Marriage sms messages

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Before marriage:
Roses are red. Sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you.
After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
Don’t come near me.

True relatives always
Stand behind u during bad times.
Check your marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!

Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
Bridegroom made to sit on the horse?
A: He is given his last chance to run away!

A good marriage would be between
A Blind wife and a deaf husband

First marriage is the triumph of
Imagination over intelligence;
Second marriage is the
Triumph of hope over experience

Most successful
Happy married life is
Defined as.
“Yet to be seen”

Golden Rule: -
‘To be happy with a man,
Love him little and understand him a lot.
To be happy with a woman,
Love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her  ”

Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
& Those inside are desperate to come out.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

Boy friend is fun,
& Husband is gun,
Boy friend is light of moon,
& Husband is month of June,
Boy friend is toothy fruity,
& Husband is photo.

Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
Than what are made in Hell?
Answer: The days after marriage!

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
Men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this?
Banta reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

Only true friends stand by u
During bad times
I promise
I will attend your wedding.

The most effective
Way 2 remember
Your wife’s birthday
Is 2 forget it once.

Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
Said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”

Before Marriage:
He: yes! Atlas it was so hard 2 wait
She: do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! Don’t even think about it
She: do you love me?
He: of course! Over n over!
She: have u ever cheated on me?
He: Nosy r u even asking
She: will u go on wad me on picnic?
He: every chance I get!
She: will u hit me?
Her you crazy; I’m not that kind of person!
She: can I trust u?
He: yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top

Man at medical store: I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
…
Chemist: Oh! Sorry,
I didn’t know u had a prescription.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, yes dear, I know
But I was in love and didn’t notice.

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

He: Yes. At last it was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom upwards!!!

Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boys
An Art 4 a lover
An Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
And a Matter of survival 4 a married man

It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs. ARRANGED.
It’s like asking someone,
If suicide is better or being murdered

“When a man holds a woman hands?”
When a man holds a woman’s hand
Before marriage, it is love;
After marriage it is self-defense

One day a man inserted
An ‘advertisement’ in the
Local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

A little kid asks his Dad,
“Daddy, how much does
It cost to get married?”
“No idea,” replied the Father,
“I’m still paying for it…”

Grooms, once you marry,
Please remember that when
You have a discussion
With your future wife,
Always try to get the
Last two words in: “Yes dear”

Some people ask the secret
Of our long marriage
We take time to go to a restaurant
Two times a week
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
And dancing.
She goes Tuesdays I go Fridays

Marriage is like going to
a restaurant your choice
From the menu,
And then look at neighboring
Table n wish you’d ordered that…

Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
The only element of life
We should also know horror,
Terror, suspense, irony,
Stupidity & tragedy of LIFE

The Equation of Marriage:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage –
And that 1 marriage has 77777+ problems.
So beware of glance!

What a married man says after years of marriage: -
My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding,
She doesn’t trust me & I don’t understand her.